"Everyone looks at me like I'm the bitch, or something." - Erika
Review: The Real World, D.C., "Bitch Begins With BI"
We open with ants swarming around The Real World, D.C. house-meets-pop culture bizarro mansion.
"How'd they get in?"
"It's because of your damned pizza!"
Ah, to be a carefree lad or lass in front of basic television nation. This is The Real World, 2010-stylie. But really, the swarm abrewing is between young lasses Erika and Ashley.
Erika reveals to the girls of the house that she was so depressed in college after breaking up with her boyfriend that she seriously considered crashing her car. Fortunately she turned to her parents and got help. Unfortunately, Ashley managed to step over her story to talk about her own self-invovled issues. Multiple times. And then gets annoyed with her about taking too long to get ready to go to the show.
Eventually, Erika and Ashley's static devolves into passive aggressive sniping over going (versus not going) to "duck tours." PMS, flying off the handle, and Debbie Downer accusations ensue.
Key quote: "Everyone looks at me like I'm the bitch, or something," says Erika.
Later, the kids play laser tag! And "it's gonna be kick butt." (Laser tag still exists?). The kids divide into teams called The Terrible Terradactyls and the Quadrule Penetration 400. Seriously. Erika v. Ashley continues pre-game whilst they refuse to "save it for the game, ladies!"
Erika and Ashley finally, kind of sort of, make up, followed by smash cut to they're fighting again, and a huge argument breaks out that ends up being about whether or not Erika should "go the fuck home." Going the fuck home seems to be a regular plot point to The Real World... some kids just can't seem to keep it real, it seems.
And then they finally kind of sort of make up again. "I'd like to give you a hug if possible," Erika says.
Meanwhile, Mike goes on a first-date with Eric. You know, it does say something about how far we've come pop culturally (and perhaps just culturally) that a guy dating a guy for reals on a national TV show doesn't cause stop-the-presses panic and confusion and strikes and anarchy and press conferences with dyspeptic old pasty white guys in expensive suits with little flags on their lapels.
"When was the last time you hooked up with a girl?" Eric questions Mike. Mike pauses... "The quote of the year!" Eric exclaims. This does jive with Adam Carolla's (i.e. The Knowledge Master on Everything) contention that guys who say they are bi should, in fact, just come clean and come out and say they're gay. "Theat's fine, because I think you're gay anyway." Eric to Mike, after Mike flirts with girls up at the D.C. club.
Mike and Eric's relationship does illuiminate a moment where The Real World can actually get real, where issues of youth and identity and sexuality get brought to the fore. No doubt ftat antics and hot tub hookups and drunken brawls where the production staff get brought in (imploding?) the fourth wall, but this was somewhat compelling stuff by reality TV standards.
In lighter news, the kids continue to argue over garbage and cleaning. Flies show up in the house. These are some dirty kids. It must be noted that Andrew's performance art-like antics can be annoying. Or awesome, depending. The cleaning the microwave super loudly to make a point bit rose to the level of awesomeness. We salute thee.
Video: The Real World, D.C., "Bitch Begins With BI"
Here's the bitchy eipisode in full... enjoy:
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